Schools were opened. Our children came out of their safe homes and said hello to the outside world. Now, at this moment when we have finished the first week, if the sweet excitement experienced by the children is replaced by restlessness, be careful! A decrease in the usual appetite, frequent waking at night, wetting their pants, irritability, and glum faces are among the most apparent signs of the lack of adaptation to school, which require taking precautions without much delay.

After a long summer vacation, the return to school has begun. So, do you know what awaits during this process our children who will be separated from their families for the first time or who will be disciplined by the school after a long vacation? Or what do await you as parents? Yeditepe University Kozyatağı Hospital Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Assoc. Dr. Oguzhan Zahmacıoğlu explained the tricks to prevent school from becoming a phobia for children. 

What Do Await Students At School?

"School is a different 'universe'. It's different with its rules, boundaries, rule makers, and demands. Of course, there are areas and similarities where it intersects with 'home.' What awaits the child here is a feeling of unfamiliarity brought by difference,” said Yeditepe University Kozyatağı Hospital Psychiatry Specialist Assoc. Dr. Oguzhan Zahmacıoğlu, adding: "Whether or not the feeling of unfamiliarity is accompanied by somewhat excitement, anxiety, the effort to find their own place, take a position, observe others and understand the situation in an environment not ruled by parents but by other elders makes our children very tired in the first weeks. Our children, who try to understand the distribution of authority between their teachers and parents, are also exposed to the difficulties of approaching other children, belonging to a group, and, of course, the need to demonstrate their academic skills.
Stating that among the most common mistakes made here, the fact that parents introduce the school as if it were a playground ranks first, Yeditepe University Kozyatağı Hospital Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Assoc. Dr. Oguzhan Zahmacıoğlu said, "School is not an amusement park or a place where friends, or to use the common word “brothers/sisters” are ready to open their arms and embrace your child with affection. Of course, this reality does not mean that school is an evil or boring place. But the more we determine our expectations in accordance with current realities, the more we can easily be saved from the effects of possible difficulties we will experience."

What is the Most Common Problem in Our Children?

Stating that the most common problem, of course, is that the child tends to perceive school as an extension of the house, Assoc. Dr. Oguzhan Zahmacıoğlu adds that nothing is surprising or wrong with this and continues as follows: "It is not easy to “enter and exit” from one system to another that they are used to and were born into. Why do I say to "enter and exit?" They are at school in the morning, at home in the evening or at the weekend. In other words, they need to be able to "wander" between the two systems. At the same time, they need to satisfy their own “child” demands and desires through the "big" demands and desires of two separate “bosses” (parent and teacher). Handling homework and game issues simultaneously is a great skill, especially today. Today's ”tired" parents also want to configure and control the play time after homework due to environmental conditions that are usually unfavorable. But they're hitting a wall. Because, in the meantime, the child desires to be idle outside the control of the parent and teacher. The most important objects at their side that relieve this feeling of being stuck and promise to provide this idleness to them are, of course, a computer, PlayStation, tablet, etc. To view more broadly, the adult world, which makes the streets uninhabitable and destroys them, is at war with children who grab the tablet because they cannot find streets to play on.  But, of course, one should not presume that the housing estate garden and the street are the same.

Signs of Lack of Adaptation to School

Indicating that it is possible at any age for the child to lack adaptation to school and this environment they have entered into Assoc. Dr. Oguzhan Zahmacıoğlu said that even for our children who start kindergarten at the age of 3, the observations of families are important in the first weeks. A decrease in the usual appetite, frequent waking at night, wetting their pants, irritability, and glum faces are among the most apparent signs of the lack of adaptation to school.

So, What Can Families Do?

Underlining that the best thing to do for families who observe even at least one of the above-mentioned symptoms in their child is to consult a connoisseur, that is, a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, and get professional help, Zahmacıoğlu said, "The problems we mentioned above do not go away by 'waiting.' Problems thought to have passed often seem to have passed because they have changed shape. Families should avoid trying to solve the child's "problem of adaptation to school" by changing their school, as is often done if there is no immensely concrete reason."