Giving responsibility to the child is very important in terms of both the child's personal development and academic success and business life. It is the wish of every parent to raise children who are aware of their responsibilities. Yeditepe University Kozyatağı Hospital Child and Adolescent Mental Health and Diseases Specialist Assoc. Prof. Dr. Oğuzhan Zahmacıoğlu makes important statements by emphasizing that a child who has a sense of responsibility will be more successful in school and life.
What is the importance of parents being role models in giving responsibility to children, and how do they do it in the healthiest way?
In order for children to be responsible, the first thing parents need to do is to make sure that the child does everything he/she can, even if it is not always possible. If this is our priority, everything we do, every effort we make will be valuable. We can say this for all age groups.
All parents know that wearing and tying a shoe is both a very difficult and a very simple task. Since catching up is almost always an important reason, parents usually tie their children's shoes. However, wearing and tying the shoes himself is not less important than the place to go, wherever it is, for instance, school. Moreover, we can say that a child who does not tie his/her own shoes may not feel the obligation to do the homework given from school. Everything is chained. Children who do not practice these everyday, seemingly simple things cannot exhibit healthy assertiveness at school, are adequate, and show no assertiveness in their decision. It is a boring, challenging assignment, and they cannot keep their attention on the project. A person's attitudes and behaviors are like a package program, they either rise to the next level or they do not.
The most important thing for parents to do is not to show the child by "doing", as it is supposed to be; it is to allow the child to do something by not doing it, and to patiently leave space for the child. Because healthy children, if they do not have any obstacles, will do that function anyway.
Is everyone aware of how frequently used but essentially illogical the phrase "if I don't feed him, he won't eat" is? They are aware. But it persists and will continue to do so. Anything done for the purpose of modeling can break the child's initiative in that regard.
Which tasks can be given to children at which age intervals to help them gain responsibility?
18-36 months
Whether a 0–36-month-old child is crawling or walking, we will be wrong when we take their toy on the seat and give it to them.
4-5 years
When we play house game with 4-5-year-old children and distribute roles, when we explain the whole issue and instructions, we will be wrong.
6-7 years
When we sit the child who is given homework from school at the age of 6-7 and intervene by looking at them from above like a hawk, checking and correcting their mistakes, we will be wrong.
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