How Do You Approach a Child Who Is Reluctant to Go to School?

Let Them Express Their Emotions

Every child can have different feelings about going to school. While some show their reluctance from the very beginning, some cannot carry the excitement of the first day to the next day. In fact, instead of stating this reluctance as "not wanting to go to school", they can show it by producing different excuses from squeezing their shoes to abdominal pain. Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz from Yeditepe University Specialized Hospital says that this anxiety situation should be perceived and managed correctly by parents. It should not be forgotten that this situation, which is mostly seen in children and young people between the ages of 5 and 11-12, is the consequence of not being able to cope with difficulties. So, is it possible to overcome the problem without chilling these children out of school? Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz listed her suggestions to guide parents before schools start…

• Do School Shopping Together

The school shopping you will do together helps to increase the motivation of children. Being able to use school supplies that have been bought for your own taste helps increase the desire to go to school. In addition, preparing the bag and clothes with your child allows them to increase their motivation and gain responsibility.

• Try to Be with Them on the First Day for Easier Adaptation

It should be kept in mind that it is perfectly normal for children to have difficulty adapting to school, just like it is difficult to adapt to daily life after vacation. By being with her on the first day, you can help the adaptation process by getting her to meet her classmates and teachers and get her back together with her old namesake. In this way, you can make them feel much more comfortable.

However, keep in mind that spending more than a few days at school will harm the school adjustment process. For this reason, you can build trust by telling your child that you are in constant contact with their teacher and that you can come to school immediately with any problem.

• Allow Them to Express Their Concerns and Feelings

Create an environment for your children to tell about their experiences. Assist them in expressing their feelings, fears, and concerns. Do not worry about them using words like fear. Attempt to question the reasons for these without being offensive. Try to reassure them about the fears they are experiencing.

• Seek Help from Teachers

If you know the reason for the fear and anxiety your children experience, be sure to tell your teachers about it. Throughout the adaptation process, you must maintain communication with your child's teacher.

• Make Them Talk About the Activities They Enjoy at School

School days that go to bed early after fun holidays, wake up early, create a new diet, and add to the stress of the lessons may seem boring at first. Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz stated that it would be beneficial for parents to learn their children's daily routines at school and said, "You can talk to them about the activities they enjoy during the day. Ask them to describe their games, new friends, fun activities in classes. Instead of questions such as "how did the lessons go?", ask "what did you play in physical education class?" so that they can enjoy answering them. So you can let them see the fun aspects of school."

• Feel Free to Seek Specialist Support If You Think There is An Issue

Since each child spends this period in a different way and at a different speed, one of the things that should not be done is that parents do not compare their children with other children. In general, the problems should disappear gradually within a few weeks. However, no progress has been made and if your child does not get up in the morning, makes excuses for not going to school, or has problems such as eating, excessive aggression, or introversion, it is also important not to be late to apply for specialist support.

The "perfect child" is not a child with very good grades!

Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz, who says that the way to raise a child who feels valued, loving, and confident is to listen to the child, lists what needs to be done as follows:

• Ask how your child is doing when they get home from school.
• Answer all their questions without getting bored.
• Ask them about some things.
• Cooperate with your child.
• Do not fail to give responsibility.
• Trust in your children.
• Make him feel valued verbally or through your actions.