As a result of the parents seeing the desire of their children to sleep with them as very normal behavior or the insistence of the children to sleep with their parents, it should be said from the very beginning that parents and children sleeping together negatively affects the personality development of children. It usually becomes a habit to meet the baby's needs easily at first or to sleep with their babies in accordance with the empathic and attachment-oriented parenting approach for the parents. This behavior, which is acquired during infancy, continues with the child's desire to sleep with his/her parents later on.

Yeditepe University Hospitals Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz answered our questions about the children who escape to their parents' beds at night.

Step by Step Towards Becoming an Independent Individual

Sleeping in their own bed, separate from their parents, is the first step towards becoming an independent individual. It should be underlined that the child who sleeps in the same bed with his/her parents cannot be separated from his/her parents emotionally. It is also useful to remind that this situation can cause problems in every part of his/her life. Because this situation will make it difficult for the child to accept himself/herself as an individual in a new environment in his/her later life. In addition, since he/she has not experienced the ability to calm himself/herself in emotional problems, it will be difficult for him/her to calm himself/herself down. Therefore, the child's self-confidence will decrease and he/she will feel powerless and inadequate. This can lead to the child becoming introverted...

It Also Has Negative Effects on Parents

Sleeping with their child can also have negative effects on parents, sleeping with their child will harm the private lives of parents. Parents' anxiety about crushing their baby or child will prevent them from transitioning to deep sleep. In addition, parents will have to be constantly on alert, as there is a risk of children falling out of bed. For these reasons, parenting that is already difficult can become even more difficult…

Advice to Families Facing This Situation

It will take time for acquired habits to fade away. It's important to be patient. First, make sure your child spends time in his/her room. If you are going to play games together, your child's room should be your choice.
Chat with your child about his/her room. Find out about the parts of his/her room he/she doesn't like. Correct the parts that can be corrected by getting ideas from your child and together with your child. Make sure the room belongs to him/her. Reserve a corner in his/her room for the pictures he/she made or the photos you took together.
A child who is used to sleeping next to his/her parents may find it difficult to sleep in his/her own room. You can sleep next to your child for a short time until he/she falls asleep, and you can go to your own bed after your child falls asleep. To calm your child, you can chat or read a fairy tale before falling asleep.
After your child gets used to it, you can sit next to him/her instead of lying next to him/her and waiting for him/her to fall asleep. If you have activities such as reading a tale or telling a tale before bedtime, you can limit it to a fairy tale by agreeing to this ritual in order to prevent your child’s resistance to sleep in order to stay with you.
You should take your child, who wakes up from his/her sleep and comes to you, to his/her room or bed instead of taking him/her to bed with you. You can lie next to him/her or sit next to him/her until he/she falls asleep.
Even if taking your child to bed after putting them to sleep seems to be a solution, this may cause anxiety for your child when he/she wakes up. Taking your child to his/her room in the first place to sleep in the first place will prevent your child's anxiety and confusion.