The Concern of Being a ‘’Good Mother’’ in Pregnancy

Feeling that a baby is growing inside of you, and making preparations for it, embellishes the dreams of all women who are preparing to become mothers. However, with the onset of pregnancy, a major psychological and physical change has begun in some expectant mothers. Future anxiety, one of the biggest reasons for this change, overshadows all beautiful dreams. Yeditepe University Koşuyolu Hospital Specialist Psc. and Dietician Merve Öz explains that this state of extreme anxiety, which is added to physiological and hormonal changes, can lead to psychological problems during pregnancy and explains the solution methods…

The thought of bringing a helpless living being into the world causes anxiety in everyone. Anxiety about your decision is normal. However, some expectant mothers may have a lot of concerns. This excessive anxiety, which is added to physiological, hormonal changes, can lead to psychological problems during the pregnancy process.

Many Events Cause Anxiety During Pregnancy

The hormonal and physical change of the expectant mother may be the source of this concern, as well as concerns about the order of birth, postpartum, and the health of the baby may increase the anxiety of the expectant mother. Yeditepe University Koşuyolu Hospital specialist stated that the loss of the baby, stillbirth, or being very close to these situations may increase the anxiety of the expectant mothers. Psc. and Dietician Merve Öz also added that health problems such as nausea, loss of appetite, weakness, and fatigue during pregnancy can stress the expectant mother.

Another problem that increases the anxiety of expectant mothers is the thought that their spouses will no longer find them attractive. It is very tiring to gain weight and to think that she cannot lose these pounds after birth, that her body is deformed and sagging. Therefore, it creates anxiety.

All these concerns accompany the idea of whether some expectant mothers can be good and increase the concerns of expectant mothers. The idea of whether she can be a good mother is a thought that is very common in expectant mothers and increases anxiety. Bringing a little life into the world and taking responsibility for it is scary. The desire of expectant mothers to be perfect mothers leads them to worry about not being a good mother.

You Should Not Be Alone    

The loneliness of expectant mothers during pregnancy can negatively affect the process. They must share these concerns with their spouses and other family members. Since another expectant mother will experience the same problems, a conversation with other expectant mothers will be very useful in terms of relaxation.

For expectant mothers who are worried that they will not be good mothers, attending courses on the subject and reading magazines will reduce their anxiety. Sleep is a natural sedative. Regular sleep should be taken care of. In addition, physical activity performed with the help of a specialist will nourish the soul and reduce anxiety.

Anxiety Also Affects The Baby

Stress negatively affects the expectant mother and thus the baby. As a result of stress, the risk of premature birth, complications at birth, low birth weight of the baby, developmental retardation in the baby, chronic diseases at later ages, and attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder may increase. Moreover, the stress that the expectant mother will experience may cause the baby to experience various psychological problems after adolescence.

Spouses Should Support

Spouses should always feel that they are with the expectant mother and that they love them very much. They should not leave their mother-to-be alone during doctor checks, shopping for the baby, and helping the mother-to-be with household chores.

When the expectant mother expresses her concerns, it is very important to listen with interest, to seek solutions to these concerns together, and to relieve the expectant mother. They should realize that their thoughts about being disliked due to the changes in the physical appearance of the expectant mothers should be sensitive about this issue and try to compliment them more.

Spouses should remember that childbirth creates hormonal and physical changes in expectant mothers. Spouses, the woman you married has taken maternity leave for you to be a father. That woman expects more attention and understanding from you for a short time. After healthily surviving this period, the woman you married will come back even more wonderful as a mother. So, you have to be patient. 

It Can Cause Childbirth Fear

As long as the worries persist, it changes direction and diversifies. During this period, family members need to understand the anxiety of not being a good mother experienced by the expectant mother and to question her reasons.

With various activities, expectant mothers can be prevented from relaxing and being alone with their worries. It is important to ensure that the mother participates in the courses and activities organized on this subject, but not to leave the mother alone.

Expert Support Should Be Consulted When Necessary

Underneath the worry of not being a good mother lies the desire to be the perfect mother. It should be explained to the expectant mother that it is not possible to be a perfect mother, that no mother can be perfect. We have all had problems with our mothers, but we always love them. Words like ''Your baby will love you very much and you will be a very good mother” should be reminded to our anxious expectant mother.

If efforts to control anxiety do not yield results, expert support should be sought if anxiety is increasing, and the quality of life is decreasing.

A good mother is a mother who loves her child and fulfills her baby's needs. The happier you are when you are pregnant, the healthier your baby will be. Instead of spending energy thinking about whether you can be a good mother, it will be healthier to love, feed, and store energy to take care of your adorable newborn baby after birth.