When one of the spouses dies; will the elderly people be left alone? Or will there be caregivers hired for them? Will their children take care of them or will they be sent to a nursing home? This is a problem for elderly people and their children. Some want to stay in their own house, some are with their children. Yeditepe University Koşuyolu Hospital Specialist Dietitian and Specialist Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz expressed her opinions on elderly care.

Clinical Psychologist Merve Öz warns that when talking to our family elders about this care, it is necessary to explain why you made this decision by filtering, but without direct deviation, they can understand it when you lie, and this situation may cause you to be more hurt.

“It should be explained that the purpose of this decision is to ensure that they receive better care. Not that you want to get rid of them.''  Hence, the “I am always with you wherever you are” message must be given.

Merve Öz remarks that the concern "Who will take care of us when we get old?" is present in most people from middle age. This uncertainty will be tiring. Here are the points to consider when explaining this decision to them:

• Ask for their cooperation when implementing your decision.
• You can allow them to participate in your interviews with the caregiver or give information about the interviews. 
• If you have decided on a nursing home, you can meet with a few nursing homes and choose by taking their opinions. 
• When you behave in this way, you will be telling them that you want the best for them instead of getting rid of them. 
• By giving information about the frequency of your visits in your nursing home decision, you will relieve their fears of being alone and longing.
• Reassure them that you can meet their needs if they have any.
   

Stating that they will be distracted a little because they are focused on the decision to be made instead of engaging in negative feelings and thoughts, Öz indicates that influencing the decision will relieve them a little.

Merve Öz advises those who want to make the right decision for the care of elderly family elders and find the best nursing home or the best caregiver for both them and themselves under the circumstances; “Remind yourself frequently that you will visit them as much as possible and meet their needs.”